Carly Rae Jepsen is the best. Tom Hanks is the best too. They are the bests. This video is the best.
On a scale of 1 to Call Me Maybe, the song is probably about a 7.5/8, but that’s still pretty solid. and even if you don’t like it, you better get used to it/convince yourself and those around you that you do if you want to talk to a girl in the next 8 months, because it is going to be everywhere.
Okay billion dollar idea. February, from a sports perspective, not awesome, right? Right, EXCEPT every four years, when you get the games of the Winter Olympiad, more commonly known as the Winter Olympics. (August is analogous, but let’s keep it with winter for now). The Winter Olympics are awesome, but three out of four years, we don’t get them.
The idea is simple. Let’s fix that. I understand that you can’t have the Olympics as they are currently performed every year, it’s way too much of a production. So WHAT WE’RE GOING TO DO, is strip down the pomp and circumstance, and just throw out the events.
To get the costs under control, we use the former venues, and here’s the kicker, we hold ‘em world wide. For instance, Lillehammer gets skiing, Innsbruck gets figure skating and Salt Lake City gets hockey.
The other logistical issue is with the NHL, but that’s a simple fix as well. With this being a yearly thing, you just bake in a international break to the schedule on an annual basis. On top of that, you have the hockey in North America every year. ON TOP OF THAT, with the Olympics scheduled for Korea and either China or Kazakstan (torch lighter: EVGENI NABOKOV), we are gonna kill another problem. The NHL players will actually have that year OFF. The Olympics overseas go back to amateurs, and we get international hockey with the pros 3 out of four years.
I’m looking for people who are in on this WITH CAPITAL (kind of joking but also kinda not if anyone out there does have billions). Lets throw it together.
Seems like a money maker, but if its not, at least February will suck less.
.1. We’re just a week removed from rivalry weekend, and it isn’t even championship weekend yet in college football, but the fact is that there are two emotions that are prevailing for me regarding college football right now: depression and dread. I know I should be focused on the upcoming championships, bowl games and the (Russillo’s or Rece Davis’s voice) FIRST. EVER. COLLEGE FOOTBALL. PLAYOFF. Presented by Dr. Pepper (I listen to entirely too much sports talk radio). I am looking forward to those things, and you better believe I will enjoy them, I will enjoy the HELL out of them. But Championship week has a dirty little secret. Championship week means that you couldn’t possibly be farther from the next rivalry weekend, and that’s a shame because rivalry weekend is AWESOME. Thanksgiving should be renamed pre-rivalry-weekend-feast. Your move congress.
.2. Need some evidence? Here. Watch this:
Need some more? Here’s this
(Yeah I know I posted that trailer last week too. It’s awesome. Sue me.)
Fine one more…
.3. It isn’t just the iron bowl, either. That entire nation goes nuts for rivalry week. I’m not going to lie to you. I’m slipping. Almost a year until the next full college football weekend. Please, no!
.4. Apparently, they are shutting down the above chant (the Dixieland Delight one, not Rammer Jammer), which is MALARKEY. First, the obvious: Not playing Dixieland Delight will not prevent drunk college kids from swearing at football games. More importantly,
.4. HOLY HELL Thomas Vanek sucks at gambling. Do you have any idea how hard it is to lose TEN MILLION DOLLARS gambling? Me neither, because that is literally inconceivable. I’ve had to pay up on a six-pack bet before, and while checking out at 7-Eleven, thinking damn this one hurts, and chances are I was going to get at least one or two of the beers. It probably isn’t like his bookie was some billionaire, either. Dude probably wasn’t letting him slap down 500k on some MACtion. 7k-10k can move a line in Vegas. Bookies play the long odds. They aren’t giving back 100k at a time because the Eagles covered. That means that Vanek most likely lost $10 million betting 5-10 thousand at a time (and even that is a lot). That means he lost 1000 more bets (minimum) than he won. Let that sink in. Vanek has made 57 million in his career (according to a Capgeek number that I glanced at without crosschecking or even seeing if that includes future contracts but whatever it’s around there). On the one hand, that leaves 47 million dollars made in less than a decade- plenty to live off of, but on the other hand, he lost almost 20% of his income betting. The Thomas Vanek picks newsletter (wherein we trick Thomas to give out his honest picks, which we then short) would be the most subscribed to email list in the world. Vegas would go out of business in a football season.
TEAM GET MINE!
Kinda funny, obviously meaningless, right? Except that that bucket—no joke, covered the spread. Unbelievable. Someone has to investigate that kid for point shaving, right?
.7. Speaking of point shaving…when the first allegations against Jamies Winston came out, they seemed patently ridiculous, right? There was a year of film on him and he was the biggest target on everyone’s schedule. Now, though? I don’t know. It is still, obviously a extremely unlikely. I;m not saying he is, but the contrast between how he is playing in first halves the past couple of months and the way that he has looked at all other times is staggering. I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t think he is shaving points, but if it were to come out that he is, it wouldn’t be the most surprising thing that I’ve ever heard.
.8. A few thoughts on Serial, which is AWESOME:
(Spoilers for days)
First of all, Gutierrez, in addition to clearly having health issues that precluded her from doing her job, made a huge mistake by bringing in Mr. S into the trial.
She also completely whiffed with an apparent shot in the dark about how she may be able to discredit the most compelling facts in the state’s case, and focused her biggest “get” on something that was ultimately meaningless. Other than that, and the fact that she lost in a case that everyone agrees had tons and tons of doubt, she did a bang up job.
The obvious theory, to me, is that Jay and Adnan were selling drugs together. Something happened, and they did it together. Them doing it together seems almost obvious, what isn’t is why he hasn’t flipped on Jay, or what their actual relationship was. (Admittedly the Barstool theory actually ties that together more elegantly than anything else I have heard.)
.9. I got offered free tickets to the Pac12 Championship game by not one, not two but THREE completely separate friends. Awesome, right? Except for the fact that I had an exam at 6:00 on Friday night, which is rough enough when you aren’t passing up the opportunity to go to a major college football championship.
I mean, I get that typically skipping exams goes contrary to the traditional policies of a law school, but they say that a good lawyer knows the rules, a great lawyer knows the exception. This great lawyer thinks that there should be an exception to the “you have to go to all your exams” rule.
.10. AAAND Finally, let’s take a look at what we can expect Sunday night, what should happen, what might happen and what will happen.
My first instinct is that I want Baylor punished. It’s nothing personal, I just think that if you are going to play the weakest schedule that you possibly can and bank on running through it, not running through it should mean that you don’t play for the title. I get that they beat TCU, and that makes it tough to argue that the Horned Frogs should make the playoff over them, so ultimately I will be rooting for K-State to make the decision for the committee. If Baylor wins, I think that the committee treats them as the conference champion, and the K-State win is the strongest they have, giving their resume a significant boost. I think that they get in (unless Ohio State absolutely ROLLS Wisco). Given this exact scenario, I guess I would be okay with that, but it sucks that their schedule (and the Big12’s lack of a title game) will be rewarded.
Also, the committee is meeting in Grapevine, TX to make the decision, because apparently Barry Alverez, Mike Gould and Condi Rice are going to go antique shopping after they get their four. (That’s a joke that you only get if you have spent time in Plano County, Texas, but so be it).
9-1, no, seriously, I went 9-1 last weekend. And you were wondering why I love rivalry week so much. #FreeMoney. 82-59 on the season
.I. Cowboys (-4.5) over Bears
<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet” lang=”en”><p>Cowboys -3.5, yes please. I'm on record, NitPicks forthcoming but probably not before kickoff.</p>— Jack Morgus (@OVSportsJack) <a href=”https://twitter.com/OVSportsJack/status/540614676581588993″>December 4, 2014</a></blockquote>
<script async src=”//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>
.II. Cincinnati (-7) over Houston
I think that Gunner Keil is good. His numbers aren’t exceptional but he has gone off when I have been watching, so there is that.
.III. Oklahoma State (+21) over Oklahoma
A huge number for Bedlam. Take three scores in a rivalry game.
.IV. Missouri (+15) over Alabama
This was the toughest call of the weekend, but you can’t just ignore the SEC title game. Bama could certainly win by 20, but ultimately, I just think that Mizzu can keep it close. The 15th point could come into play, but I’m taking the dog.
.V. Kansas State (+7) over Baylor
This game is a toss up, could go either way. With that in mind, take the seven degrees of charity.
Thanksgiving is here. Turkey, potatoes family (for better and for worse), perhaps a few drinks and MEANINGFUL FOOTBALL. Let’s go.
1. Put this down as year 8 in a row when, while on the couch on the Saturday after Thanksgiving I complain to whoever I’m with that I should have gone to the Iron Bowl. Having been to Alabama during the RollDamnTideWarDamnEagle Bowl visiting extended family in Birmingham, I can say that the electricity in that state this week is ELECTRIC. It is Iron Bowl week first and Thanksgiving week second. Some day.
2. Sticking with the SEC, there are two extremes that we could see after this weekend, and after the championship game. The first would be utter chaos. Auburn beats Bama. Ole Miss beats Miss. State. Mizzu comes into the championship game having lost to INDIANA, but with the same record as their high and might SEC West opponent. Mizzu could also easily lose to Arkansas, leading to a Georgia appearance in the title game. Chalk is certainly a possibility, but so is chaos, but I for one would like to see everything turned on its head.
3. IF I were to be 100000% honest, Marshall fans have absolutely every right to be pissed off that they are undefeated and not poised to play in a New Years Day game. If I were a Marshall fan, or if that happened to Boise State I would be steamed. HOWEVER, I am not a Marshall fan. I am a true blue Boise State fan, so instead, I am ECSTATIC.
Also, go big red blobs.
4. As we watch the first game this wonderful Thanksgiving, let us be reminded that Matthew Stafford is the first pick overall, starting quarterback and face of the franchise for Team Think-They-Should-Be-Good-Want-Them-To-Be-Good-But-Just-Not-That-Good. I will fall into the Stafford illusion and pick the Lions to beat a good team at least 4 times a year. Today is one of those days.
6. I wonder if, when the Lions play the Bears, Matt Stafford and Jay Cutler realized that they are basically looking in a mirror. Does Jay see Stafford try to thread a ball through three defenders and say ‘oh man, great throw he almost had him‘ or does he watch him fire a ball into the D line for the 5th time and with a complete lack of self awareness, just think ‘what an IDIOT‘ to himself. My guess is that Stafford begrugingly realizes that he makes the same thing, while Cutler just thinks to himself DOOOONNNT CARE.
7. These are the things that I think about while I watch football.
8. Yes, I went on a run this morning. Yes, I went through the whole ‘justify pigging out later with a small amount of exercise in the morning.’ I did those things for a number of reasons: 1. I’m not near a gym, B. I hate how cliche it is, but the weight truly doesn’t stay off like it did a few years ago, and III. I am a basic bitch. Deal with it.
8. How is it possible that the Cowboys have, after just 11 games, broken through their plateau of mediocrity, or at least reached it, with a chance to take control of the division, and yet I have almost ZERO confidence that they will be a playoff team? Don’t get me wrong: I think that they’re a really good team. I think that they have a great shot and I’m hopeful. The problem is that teams like San Francisco, Green Bay and Seattle lurking in the wild card chase, there just doesn’t seem to be a lot of room out there in the NFC.
1. I think that it is about time for me to swear off of bashing Roger Goodell. I have ponded keys on the subject over and over again, but I’m just over it. He sucks. It is what it is.
2. Having said that, he will probably do something else stupid and I’ll relapse like that. I give it 30 days.
3. Boston College is America’s team today. Florida State NEEDS to lose. I can’t take it anymore. Can’t do it. They need to be stopped.
4. I somehow just figured out that Boise has a home and home against Florida State in 2019-20. I was super pumped at first and I think I want to go to Tally, but then I realized that I’ll be 30 and I got depressed. Whatever.
When Harvard Law graduate Rob Manfred secedes Bud Selig as MLB commissioner following the World Series, Roger Goodell will be the only major sports commissioner that is not a lawyer. It is not a coincidence that the business/PR trained Goodell is the only one who clearly deserves to lose his job.
In the past few months, Goodell has badly mismanaged the league, particularly with regards to the scandal surrounding Ray Rice. The mismanagement displayed by Goodell highlight the problems caused by having a mediocre corporate lackey as he head of a major sports league, and serve as Exhibit A as to why a legal background is necessary for the commissioner of a professional league. Continue reading →